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      • Conflict Resolution
      • Counseling for Anxiety
      • Couples Counseling
      • Divorce Recovery Therapy
      • Family Counseling
      • Grief & Bereavement Counseling
      • Group Therapy
      • Individual Therapy
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      • Pre-Marital Counseling
      • Telehealth
      • Therapy for Depression
      • Women’s Issues
      • The Wellness Path Collaborative
    • The Wellness Path Collaborative
      • Living Water Women’s Wellness Retreat
      • The Wellness Path Group Therapy Collective
    • Cancer Corner: Survivorship Support
    • Continuing Education Training
    • Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging Consultant
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Are You Doing Self-Care All Wrong?

October 9, 2020 by Chalice Rhodes

The topic of self-care is one that has been discussed openly and often over the past decade. But for many, the concept of self-care is one that is still a bit mysterious, if not downright confusing.

What Is Self-Care?

First, self-care is a practice and a commitment we make to ourselves. It is any activity we do deliberately to support our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Not only does the right kind of self-care improve our health and life, but it can also improve the relationships we have with others.

Some examples of self-care might be:

  • Creating better habits
  • Eating right
  • Getting plenty of quality sleep
  • Exercising
  • Meditation
  • Spending quality time with loved ones
  • Making time to enjoy a hobby
  • Learning something new

Self-care isn’t always fun or easy, but you do it anyway because you know that the activity is what is BEST for you. In this way, self-care is a bit like acting as your own parent, making sure you do the things you don’t necessarily feel like doing because it is what your mind, body, and spirit need.

What Self-Care Isn’t

Self-care isn’t necessarily about making yourself feel better.

Person A has had a very bad day. They practice proper self-care and, when they get home, they change clothes, go for a 3-mile run, then cook a healthy dinner that refuels their body.

Person B has also had a very bad day and practices phony self-care. On their way home, person B stops at the store and gets a 6-pack of beer and a gallon of ice cream, then spends the entire night on the sofa drinking and eating poorly in an attempt to make the bad day go away.

This phony style of self-care is very immature. It is not parental but something a child does. If the parent insists you eat your veggies because they are good for you, the child will eat only candy bars when the parent isn’t looking.

Self-care is about making decisions based on what is good for you, not what you FEEL like doing at the moment.

Self-care should also not be confused with pampering. While there is nothing wrong with getting massages and pedicures, these again tend to be quick fixes we give ourselves to make ourselves feel better in the moment.

At the end of the day, self-care is a commitment to yourself to live, grow, and evolve in healthy ways. It means making choices that will lead to your best self and greatest potential.

 

SOURCES:

  • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everybody-marries-the-wrong-person/201006/self-care-in-toxic-world
  • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/202001/5-things-people-get-wrong-about-self-care
  • https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-self-care-is-and-what-it-isnt-2/

Filed Under: General

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About Me

Dr. Chalice’s work has been locally, nationally and internationally recognized. She has been featured by Susan G. Komen, 6 ABC News Philadelphia, WTVM 9 ABC News, WDAS 105.3 FM, The Black Family Magazine, and The Voice of Canada. In 2024, she was honored with multiple awards including The Best in New Jersey Magazine, the Top Doc Counseling Excellence Award, SJ Mag Media’s Business Excellence Award, and a listing in Marquis Who’s Who in America 2024.

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